Last week I was in traffic along Wempco road in Ogba. The road is presently under construction mixed with the rains and rush hour traffic it is a simple recipe for accidents. A bit of a distance away a lady’s car had been ‘brushed by a tricycle aka Keke maruwa. This had caused a slight build up at this point. In the yellow bus next to me 3 men started expressing their opinion about the situation very loudly. It was obvious they wanted me to hear and possibly comment. I almost did but I remembered….
“I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.”
-George Bernard Shaw
Their comments ranged from women are so stupid to women are wicked, stubborn and evil. As some point the lady grabbed the keke maruwa driver’s shirt. The 3 men increased their tempo. Women are evil creatures, that’s why women cannot rule this country, that’s why women should not drive on highways (yes they said that!). They kept going on and on.
If I had a chance I would have simply replied… There are good people and there are bad people in this world. There are good men and there are bad men just as there are good women and there are bad women. That is just the way it is because obviously their venom was not actually directed at the lady ahead but at women in general.
A yoruba adage says “Eniyan buruku ti ba eniyan rere je”. Translation: “Bad people have given good people a bad image” * winks,
Situations like this bring to mind the need to appreciate the good that people do. The need to say from time to time, hey I think you are amazing. I think you are doing a good job or simply something you did or said inspired me. I don’t do this as often as I wish to so I was inspired by Father’s Day to appreciate a few good men. Not my husband or father as is usually expected but men I worked with for a particular period. These men never discriminated me, always encouraged me, criticized me when need and definitely applauded me. I was a star because of them. So drumroll please…..
Mr Henry: Words are not enough to describe how awesome I think you are.You showed me the true definition of a leader. You put it all on the line.
Mr Owo: When I think of you I think of patience, thoroughness and generosity. You always believed in me.
Kfagbs: You made coming to work about learning and then you turned it around and made learning fun!!
Mr Emmanuel: Working with you initially was rough but now I know that you put the pressure on to bring out the best and no matter how hard you pushed me at the end of it you’d take out the time to make me understand your reasons. I was your sub and you didn’t need to explain to me but you did. That’s respect.
Read more about the need and importance of appreciation here.